Virgins

Maintaining Absteince

®Recently I was having a guys' casual conversation with a colleague and
some how we began arguing about the existence of virginity in this our
modern society.Ok I am a christian and I believe in the 'no sex before
marriage' moral code,but my colleague was trying to convince me that
that is old fashioned,I asked him where he had left his christian
beliefs and he was like
" Okulozaako tekilimu satan.Watya nga tazaala ? " (there is no sin in
tasting first,how about if you find out later that she is barren ?).I
told him " but you see anything done out of faith is a sin,a christian
lives by faith and not by sight " but I think I couldn't convince him
enough.

So that is how we began the argument of whether virgins still exist.My
friend refused nakomba ne kwelima ( licked on a sharp hoe ) a way of
stonch concrete resistance,stressing that in today's world even the
15 year olds know what sex is as in having experience in what it feels
like.
But I am a kind of person who believes that because many people are
doing something it does'nt mean that every body is envolved in it.
One day when prophet Elijah of the bible ran away for his life because
Queen Jezebel sought to kill him,the Lord spoke to him and said

"....what are you doing here Elijah? "
Elijah answered and said
" I have been very zealous for the Lord God of hosts,because the
children of Isreal have forsaken your convenant,torn down your alters
and killed your prophets with the sword.I (alone) am left,and they
seek to take my life."

The Lord answered
Verse 18 "Yet I have reserved seven thousand in Isreal ,all whose
knees have not bowed to Baal,and every mouth that has not kissed him."
(1 kings 19 : 13-18)

So while Elijah at a time when his world felt so small,he assumed
there was no body else who still worshiped the true God,hence he had
it in his mentality that him Alone was left,but instead God looked at
that as a one size feats all blanket statement.Therefore,though you
don't see them,I strongly believe virgins still exist,and the
following are some of the many reasons why I believe so;

1.Shyness
shyness is a feeling of fear for something that could happen as a
result of doing something,that definition sounds dissatisfng,
ah?,ok,shyness is also related to a social phobia,low self
esteem,social anxiety, and because these feelings are negative,the
victims always have a choice to make called fight or flight response
where by one can chose to confront the fear when it comes or they
could just flee and escape to avoid the fear.So we have people male
and female who because of certain reasons,are generally shy.When they
encounter someone of the opposite sex they feel like a rat cornered by
a mouse,if they manage to say a word,they can't even look them in the
eyes.Their tongue is too heavy to even utter the word sex,they are so
brilliant in many areas of life but sex is a no go area,a
phobia.Because of this,many are still virgins out there,you can't
identify them because they have created caves for themselves to hide
into,they have a self imposed isolation.

2.Identity Crisis
We have people who have no definate idea of who they are and what they
want to be in life,they are like high school students who study over
10 subjects,mathematics,physics,divinity,biology,history and they are
not yet sure of what they want to do in their academics journey. That
is why we now have sexual orientations like
straight,bisexual,heterosexual,homosexual,asexuality et cetera,some
people don't know that sexual intercourse is only supposed to be
between a man and a woman,I hear they want to alter this definition
from ancient dictionaries so they can include perverse views of what
sex is.
So amidist this biological confusion,some people are not yet sure of
who to have sex with.But anyway,my dad always told me that common
sense is not common !

3.The existence of perfectionist
In this information era where people receive information on what is
happening all around the world easily through different channels of
the media,magazines,internet social networks,hollywood movies et
cetera,people have been affected by an illness known as Obsessive
Comparison Disorder,where by many people have obtained an illusive
view of how sex should be,they have created fictitious fantasies of
their ideal sex partners,and they can have sex with no one but only
that illusionary person they have created deep in their minds,so to
them,the real people around them are not up to the standard but
backward,unstylish villagers.So such people have not had sex due to
scarcity of sex material partners as some have said that " virginity
is lack of opportunity ".

4.Culture
Many people have not had sex and only aim at having it while in
marriage because of strong observations of their culture.here in
Africa virginity is or was a highly observed virtue in society and to
be a virgin was a sign of good morals,you were considered " unspoilt
",though that culture has been greatly damaged by the liberalization
of the western world through new cultures passed through hollywood
movies and the like,yes Hollywood's wolf of wall street was banned in uganda,there are still people who have managed to
preserve themselves.forexample in many parts of india having sex
before marriage is a cultural taboo and 'brides to be' are sometimes
subjected to virginity tests.
Also in some cultures people don't talk about sex,it is looked at as
bad manners,so you grow up knowing little or nothing about sex,in some
cultures it is just after you are ready for marriage that elders sit
you down to talk about it.

5.Hatred
Some ladies,because of what they have seen and heard about men raping
women or children,beating them,neglecting their families,denying
pregnancies,they have developed a bitter hatred towards men.They view
them as irresponsible beasts who just use women to satisfy their
sexual needs.In this way many ladies have remained virgins because
they don't want to risk giving themselves into men in fear of falling
victims.

6.STDs and other consquences
STDs espeially Hiv/Aids has claimed many lives around the world mostly
in Africa and as a way to reduce on the infection rates,various
measures have been formed to increase public awareness against the
killer diseases.Uganda,one of the countries applauded for seriously
fighting the disease has been emphasizing ABCD -Abstinence,Be faithful
,Condoms or Die.
The church does not support the use of condoms instead she has always
emphasized -A,B that is Abstinence ,and Fedelity (be faithful) for
married people .Therefore many young people against temptations have
stayed virgins as the only sure way to be disease free.

7.Vision
Once while in a youth conference,each of us was asked what they hoped
to be in future,and with a piece of paper each,we outlined our dreams
and forwarded them,the speaker that day said all each of us had
written was great,but then he also added that most of those who had
been before us had the same or even greater dreams but never came true
and among the reasons why that is and was so is Sex.
we were adviced that every time you think about sex,you must also
think about responsibility.The two go hand in hand.As agirl,once you
get pregnant and you are still in school ,you could be forced to drop
out.For a guy if you make a girl pregnant also you could drop out to
take on responsibility or in case of defilement,you might go on the
run,all these will greatly reduce the speed towards your Vision and
dreams.So to avoid inconveniences and interruptions,many people have
maintained a desciplined Life to stay virgins until the right time.









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